Dear listener: I’m sorry, but this hurts me more
Originally published in Current, July 14, 2008
Commentary by John Sutton
Q. When do we go live on the air for up to 30 minutes an hour with expectations of tremendous audience response and only the vaguest notions of what will be said — and leave that detail to people who seldom if ever talk on the radio?
A. Pledge drives.
By comparison, when we hear Steve Inskeep, Terry Gross or Michele Norris on the radio, we know there are teams of writers, editors and producers helping them, both before they speak and, usually, in editing afterward. We even have a name for this in Public Radio’s Core Values: Quality of Craft.
It’s no surprise then that pledge drives, often lacking Quality of Craft, are ripe for on-air gaffes. I’ve been witness to many and responsible for some. Here are a few that require no explanation.
“Our goal is to bring you more fundraising with less news.”
“We make it easy and painful to give.”
“. . . Wait, that’s my home phone number! The number to call with your pledge is . . .”
“. . . and support Wait Wait, Don’t Call Me.”
“We’d appreciate it if you’d call now and give us some hell. The number is . . .”
“The sex of our drive is dependent on you.”
“Call now and our friendly volunteers will get you off in just a few short minutes.”
Some gaffes are better appreciated with context.
WBHM, Birmingham, Ala.: The station frequently uses outside guests to help with pitching, but guests at most stations run out of things to say after one or two pitch breaks. One WBHM guest, paired with Program Director Michael Krall, was trying to make the case for the station’s contribution to the civic dialogue. Clearly struggling for the right words, the guest finally came up with “WBHM . . . lubricates the social process.” After a moment of silence, Krall responded in his most polite, contemplative baritone: “Gee, I don’t think I’ve ever heard those words used together before.”
WBUR, Boston: Pledge-drive gaffes can come from even the best on-air talent. Tom and Ray Magliozzi of Car Talk were pitching with WBUR’s Jay Clayton during the first-ever Power Hour. That’s when a station tries to raise a day’s worth of proceeds in a single hour. They met their $50,000 goal 10 minutes early. Caught up in the excitement, Tommy encouraged listeners to keep calling to get rid of the “goddam pledge drives.” After a stunned moment of silence, Tom and Ray were reduced to a fit of laughter, leaving Clayton to plow through. The station raised another $20,000 in the last 10 minutes.
An East Coast classical music station: It’s not unusual to personalize a challenge grant by talking about the donor’s love of the station and appreciation for the programming. A typical line would be: “Bob Smith is offering this challenge as a way of encouraging you to join him as an active supporter of the station.” On this memorable day, the on-air pitchers were striving to make Bob a hero of classical music until a producer handed them updated copy with pertinent added information: The challenge was “offered in memory of Bob Smith.”
Sometimes the gaffe isn’t what is said on-air but is instead a cascade of exacerbating circumstances.
WJHU, Baltimore, Md.: It was a winter pledge drive. I was pitching from an announce booth equipped with a few microphones and not much else. Local Morning Edition host Tom Olson was pitching from the control room. We wrapped up a pitch break to rejoin the network at 7:40 a.m., but the feed from Washington wasn’t there. Snow had filled the satellite dish. Tom reopened the mics and signaled that I should keep pitching. So I did. As he would on any other morning, Tom had to clear the dish himself. So I continued to pitch. By myself.
A minute went by. Then two minutes. Then three. I was talking about giving to the station, filling the time with every cliché and crutch phrase in the business. At the same time, I was wondering how long it might take to clear the dish, why on Earth I chose this line of work, and whether I could smoothly dash into the unfamiliar control room, find an appropriate CD and play some music.
Nope. So I kept talking.
Listeners weren’t pledging. There wasn’t a single call during my long solo pitch. About six minutes into this ordeal I simply laid out the situation for listeners, explaining that Tom was clearing out the dish and we’d go back to NPR as soon as we could. I apologized for the problem and speculated that either no one was tuned in or that listeners were just wondering, “How long this can this poor sucker keep going by himself?”
Ten minutes was the answer, probably the worst 10 minutes ever heard on WJHU. This was the antithesis of Quality of Craft. Tom finally cleared the dish and restored the network feed just in time for the last segment of the hour. I explained to the audience that we would normally take the last 10 minutes of the hour to raise money but would relent because they had already missed enough of Morning Edition. If any listeners were left, they heard me thank them for their patience. I asked them to call with their pledges during the newscast.
And they did. Remarkably, enough listeners called in pledges that we met the hourly goal. It was a good reminder that listeners treasure public radio like no other source of information and entertainment. They will support it during not-so-stellar pitching, through our gaffes, even sometimes when we are at our worst.
John Sutton, based in Maryland, provides research, fundraising and management consulting services to pubradio organizations. He writes at radiosutton.blogspot.com.
Web page posted July 14, 2008
Copyright 2008 by Current LLC
